Oh INXS, how rare I would think it is that right now I am quoting a song that I think to be wise. But out of context it may be a proper assumption. It is one of those nights where I just don't want to go to bed, everybody has them. You're having a good time and you are excited, everything is going right, and all of a sudden everybody else in the room as you shut off the lights and pass out. It would only be more of a surprise if it was the first time that this has happened to me.
The fact of the matter is...Joey Bee is a nighthawk. It eventually happens to you when you play enough shows, and enter the "rockstar lifestyle". As many a person will tell you when you rock AND roll (as Matt often does) the normal rules just don't apply. Rockstars are on a different schedule. Now this is not the schedule for THIS tour, this is the schedule for the "last" tour. It goes something like this:
ROCKSTAR SCHEDULE:
4am-12pm: Sleep
12:00-12:01pm: Enquire if free Hotel Continental Breakfast is available
12:01-12:05pm: Find Tour Manager and curse for missing free breakfast, tell him he is now paying for lunch.
12:05-12:10pm: Make some phoners and shoot some B-Roll.
12:10-12:15pm: Eat at nearest fast food joint, complain for not serving beer.
12:15-5:00pm: Drive 120/kmph to ensure late arrival at next venue.
5:00pm: Begin night of conflict with venue manager/promoter.
6:00pm: Soundcheck
7:00pm: Drinking really kicks in right about here...THERE IS A SHOW TO PLAY!
8:00pm: Make life difficult.
9:00pm: Push stage time back because obviously people are late.
10:00pm: I think this time has something to do with playing music?
11:00pm-4:00am: Excessive Drinking
Rise Cold, Wash Dry & Repeat!
P.S. Please understand this is a joke, don't read too much into this and think I'm trying to make a political commentary about somebody. If that was the case, I wouldn't be so cryptic. It's Friday, and I hope everybody gets a little laugh about how comical life on the road may be....if only after two shows.
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